Thursday, July 25, 2013

"There are times I feel so Alone, down especially when my MS & fibromyalgia acts up at the same time. I feel hopeless

(Eva Saporito, Columnist, MS News Channel)

There are times I feel so Alone, down especially when my MS and fibromyalgia acts up at the same time.  I feel hopeless. For some reason, I think of times when I use to dance with my friends hang out at the OBI in NY. Which is closed now. I use to love Karaoke it was a blast kickboxing and rollerblading.  It makes me smile then I start crying uncontrollably. I'm so grateful for what I have a amazing son the most precious gift. I just wish I had more energy to do more. I have learned and managed to educate him about my condition.

However he is a child he does not always understand. I do still push and try my best.

For some reason I feel Alone.  I can't seem to share what I feel with my loved ones.  I'm told it's just a bad day,  let it go that it's okay. Now this does not happen all the time only when I'm feeling very ill or super stressed.

I wish I could talk to my better half, but I feel Alone. I think it's a "I can't fix it thing"  so I have to hold a lot in. I feel like an actress that should have won many Oscars.  Why is it so hard?  I'm way over, The why me... I have accepted this disease.  I just wish it would leave me Alone for at least one day.   I'm am grateful I know my condition is mild compared to others. It's how it's affected my personal life that eats at me inside everyday.

Wow I'm tearing up. (i.e, I tell my psychiatrist I feel more anxiety) his answer well if I was in your shoes. I would too. Seriously?

I know I'm not Alone. I have my MS family and some close friends. I do appreciate and love you all.

It feels good to know I am not Alone.