Thursday, July 25, 2013

The race to the bathroom

This is a problem I hate to open up about.
The race to the bathroom. I'm watching a movie with friends. Guys  quick pause the TV I gotta go... This happens maybe 6 times in a 2 hour period.

The long ride somewhere it can only be 30 minutes... Pullover at the BK it Mickey D's gotta go...

As soon as I get to my friends or family's house.
I gotta go... I feel like I live in Da toilet.

This happens with the pseudo flare ups caused by heat, stress and if course any Little illness. Thank goodness for my magic pill Sanctura and my mini cath.

I literally have to do breathing techniques to go and it works.

"There are times I feel so Alone, down especially when my MS & fibromyalgia acts up at the same time. I feel hopeless

(Eva Saporito, Columnist, MS News Channel)

There are times I feel so Alone, down especially when my MS and fibromyalgia acts up at the same time.  I feel hopeless. For some reason, I think of times when I use to dance with my friends hang out at the OBI in NY. Which is closed now. I use to love Karaoke it was a blast kickboxing and rollerblading.  It makes me smile then I start crying uncontrollably. I'm so grateful for what I have a amazing son the most precious gift. I just wish I had more energy to do more. I have learned and managed to educate him about my condition.

However he is a child he does not always understand. I do still push and try my best.

For some reason I feel Alone.  I can't seem to share what I feel with my loved ones.  I'm told it's just a bad day,  let it go that it's okay. Now this does not happen all the time only when I'm feeling very ill or super stressed.

I wish I could talk to my better half, but I feel Alone. I think it's a "I can't fix it thing"  so I have to hold a lot in. I feel like an actress that should have won many Oscars.  Why is it so hard?  I'm way over, The why me... I have accepted this disease.  I just wish it would leave me Alone for at least one day.   I'm am grateful I know my condition is mild compared to others. It's how it's affected my personal life that eats at me inside everyday.

Wow I'm tearing up. (i.e, I tell my psychiatrist I feel more anxiety) his answer well if I was in your shoes. I would too. Seriously?

I know I'm not Alone. I have my MS family and some close friends. I do appreciate and love you all.

It feels good to know I am not Alone.